I can go really short with my review here: The film starts very well (and uses an extremely appropriate David Bowie song in those opening minutes), goes on to give us a plethora of superb effects, falls very flat in its middle third, then manages to give audiences a fairly exciting ending.

Unfortunately that flat middle section, and a couple of other problems I’ll note below, really hurts the film and makes it far less successful than one would have hoped.

When I heard a Valerian movie was in the works, I was excited.  I’m probably one of the few people in the United States who knew about the European comic books/graphic novels that were the basis for this movie.  Here’s one of the first graphic novels featuring Valerian I purchased way back when:

Here’s what the main characters, Major Valerian (in the movie, played by Dane DeHaan) and his partner Sergeant Laureline (in the movie played by Cara Delevingne) look like in the graphic novels:

I found the comics often quite clever and loaded to the brim with ideas, though I will also admit the artwork didn’t always wow me like some other artwork and the story lines were at times odd… though that may have been a function of the translation.

Still, I was eager to see a film version of the characters, and especially so when Luc Besson was revealed as the director.  Mr. Besson has a long history in movies, first rising to prominence for movies such as La Femme Nikita, Leon: The Professional, and, especially, The Fifth Element.

In many ways, The Fifth Element was Mr. Besson doing his “original” take on those many European sci-fi graphic novels presented in Metal Hurlant and drawn/written by the likes of Moebius as well as, yes, the Valerian graphic novels.

With the release of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Mr. Besson returns to that vibe but, unfortunately, I feel the results aren’t quite as good.  Here is the movie’s trailer:

While its easy to see the similarities between the two films, its their differences that make Valerian, IMHO, a lesser work.

To begin with, it pains me to say this but Dane DeHaan simply isn’t very good in the titular role as Major Valerian.  He certainly looks like the Valerian character found on the graphic novels pages, but he also feels far too young to be what is essentially a dark haired version of Flash Gordon.  Indeed, there are moments in the film where DeHaan is acting opposite what are supposed to be “grizzled” military veterans and each and every one of them look far more competent and capable of handling action than he does… and yet we’re supposed to view him as their better.

Cara Delevingne as Sgt. Laureline is sorta/kinda ok, but the problem with her character is one that is all too common in the role of women in many films: She’s a character and not much more.  She’s the love interest and woman of everyone’s dreams, she’s the damsel in distress.  She’s the “tough as nails/hard to get” one.  There isn’t a whole lot else.

Worse, DeHaan and Delevingne don’t have much chemistry between them, though I feel much of the problem for that lies in the breakneck pace in which director Besson moves from place to place and heavily special effect scene to scene instead .

Then there’s the movie’s runtime: 2 hours and 17 minutes long.

Once again it feels to me like a film fell under a director’s extreme love for presenting spectacle -the more the better!- and in this case a little more editorial guidance might have come a long way to strengthen the story.  Though the situation isn’t quite as bad as Blade Runner 2049’s 2 hours and 44 waaaaay too long minutes (IMHO!), I could have used a few “quiet” scenes between Valerian and Laureline to better establish their relationship.  Unfortunately, the near constant barrage of special effects in that middle section of the film got more than a little boring after a while.

The movie features cameo appearances by Clive Owen (he must have worked for maybe two days on the film), Ethan Hawke (ditto), and Rihanna (she’s also a cameo, though a somewhat longer one), but none of them add that much to the film.  At least fans of Rihanna get to see her playing dress up for another of those too-long special effect scenes.

So, unfortunately, despite some positives, I can’t recommend Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets to your average movie-goer.  Those who enjoy movies with heavy special effects may find more to enjoy, however.